Life with Derek

Dear Derek,

I recently caught my significant other in bed with another person. My question is what advice do you have to help me break up with that person in the perfect way?

Sincerely, Big Girls Don’t Cry  

Dear Big Girls Don’t Cry,

Honestly, good for you! It is extremely hard to move on from somebody when you have sacrificed some much time and energy to be with them. Good for you to have enough courage to move on from somebody who obviously does not care that much about you. Like Maury says, “Once a cheater, always a cheater.”

The first option I would recommend is to be direct with them. If you do not want to see the person, call them. Usually I would not recommend to break up with someone by phone call, but in this certain circumstance, I think it is acceptable to do so if they are willing to cheat on you. However, if you need to have closure, meeting with your soon-to-be-ex might be more beneficial. Just make sure that you stay calm and speak your mind.

I have heard of various breakup stories. One girl in my high school tried to run over her boyfriend with a car after she caught him cheating on her. However, I would not recommend for someone to be violent because that is illegal and brings you down to their level. If you are religious, say you found someone, and if they ask who, say Jesus, being closer with your religion does not make you a villain. Another way is to have your friend break up with them. I once broke up with another man for one of my friends in high school. It was one of the most awkward situations of my life, but considering he cheated on her and she was too much in love to face him herself, sometimes we need to be the bearer of bad news to protect our friends.

In addition, one action that you can do to hint that there is trouble in paradise is to change your Facebook account to single and delete or crop out all pictures of your cheating ex to prove that you do not need them in your life anymore. This will show that you are moving on with your life which is something that everyone needs to do after a breakup. Find yourself, accept what you want and go after it.

Big Girls Don’t Cry, you can even break up with your cheating ex by going a date. Show them that if they do not respect you then there is always someone else waiting at that doorstep. Even if it is not a romantic date, but just a date with friends it still shows that you will be happy without them and sometimes that is the hardest thing to watch after a nasty break up.

Honestly, if I were you, I would Photoshop your cheating significant other’s face onto a picture of a cheetah, and send it to them to show them what type of person they truly are. Being cheated on is probably one of the hardest reasons to end a relationship. However, if your significant other is cheating on you, then I say good riddance. We already have so many people in our lives that try to hurt us or tell us that we are unimportant, so to be cheated on by someone who we trust is a good enough reason to say goodbye.

Whether you are angry or sad, do not worry about why they cheated on you; put yourself first and try to figure out what you want in life. Also, I do not care how much you love them, do not forgive them right away. It takes a century to build trust, but it also takes one second to destroy it. If they want you back, they better prove to you why they are sorry and worth the second chance.

Sincerely, Derek

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