Life with Derek

Dear Derek,

I hooked up with a freshman boy, and it is extremely awkward because I constantly see him since Valpo is a small campus. Should I avoid him? How can I make this experience less awkward?


Why Me?


Dear Why Me?,

Sounds like you had an interesting and joyful first week. To be honest, you’re not the first person to have gone through this awkward experience with another person on campus. You will also not be the last person who has hooked up with someone else from this campus. Hopefully you will not make this a habit, because unlike most schools, Valparaiso does not pass out free condoms. No glove, no love!

Why Me?, depending on how awkward the situation was, it will determine if you should avoid him or not. If he’s extremely creepy or just turns every encounter into an uncomfortable situation, I would avoid that freshman boy at all costs. Avoid this kid like I avoid the gym or how Valpo students avoid making eye contact with people in Harassment Hallway. Now, I wouldn’t recommend running away from your problems just yet, even though it did work out for Forrest Gump.

I know that Valparaiso University is a very small private school. However, there are more efficient ways to avoid people on this campus. One option is to avoid the residential or academic buildings they frequently visit. For example, if he’s an engineer, Gellersen isn’t the best facility for you to hang out in. If he works at the Campus Café, make the Founders Table your hot spot to grab food. If you are the unfortunate soul that has the same class as him, sit in the farthest spot away from him.

Another option is to not change your routine. Yes, it’s the best way to avoid that freshman, but have dominance over the situation. Don’t let this one person dictate your actions or they’ll have all the power from that previous situation.

Why Me?, you could also avoid making accidental eye contact and try to find someone to interact with so he won’t approach you. Furthermore, don’t be approachable. Play music or focus on your homework. Now, I’m not saying to be vaguely rude to this person; however, don’t focus on him as much, and instead worry more about your schoolwork or social life. You can also confront this person. Yet, if he didn’t hurt you in any way, then dropping the subject and saying nothing could be your best bet.

If plastic surgery or changing your name isn’t an option, you could also talk about this experience with your friends. Try to turn this situation into a humorous learning experience.

Why Me?, everyone makes awkward life decisions such as this one. Don’t let this awkward experience get to you. Just be nice and talk to him even if it wasn’t that dramatic of an experience. Lastly, Why Me?, never mention the hook up to him ever again. Drop the subject and just be civil. Eventually, it will be a thing of the past.

Sincerely, Derek

The views expressed are those of the writer and not necessarily those of The Torch.

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